La Pistola: Dearest, (part IV)

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Greetings,

I am a Civil Staff working under United States Marine Corps operating with the Engineering military Dept unit in Baghdad, Iraq, we discover about $65 Million US dollars that we want to move out but we need a good partner we can trust. This fund is oil money and legal. Click on the link bellow for more information http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2988455.stm

We have already secretly moved this fund out of Iraq to finance firm in Europe. This is a deal. But the question is can we trust you when the funds get to you? You will take your 30% for the assistance and keep the remaining for us in a safe custody. Your role is to find a safe place for the funds while our own part is sending it to you.

Your Reply Needed
Michael

Dear Michael (pfc? Cpl? General???),

I am so glad you found me and you have found the right person! I would be happy and honored to assist you! I have done many, many things since the war started to help our boys fighting over in Africa against the Iraqi’s and I’m jumping at the chance to help again! I was just having an argument the other day with a friend of mine who is working on a similar deal with a fellow from Nigeria (another African nation in case you didn’t know...although I had to look it up on a map.) Anyway, my friend, Jim, is helping to secure funds for this fellow, Muhhammad or Muststafa or something like that who SAYS he is a Christian but who ever heard of a Christian name like that? That sounds like a muslim name or an islim name to me. Is there a difference between muslim and islim? I thought you might now since you are over there and all. What I do know is that Michael is a Christian name. Michael was the Archangel and Gods right hand man. Michael has seven letters and as we all know--”if the devil is six, then God is seven.” You are a seven. W is a seven. But I digress (I love using that phrase! I use it around the house all the time and it drives my wife crazy!) What do I need to do to help?? I don’t even need 30% of your money, but maybe just 25%, or 25 million. Seems to me you are doing the harder work and did find it after all. I have a very safe place in which I could store this money, although it’s not a bank. We all know that the banks here in the United States of America aren’t run by the Christians either but another certain African country! I do have a very, very safe closet in the basement with two locks that my wife doesn’t even have keys to (how much space does 65 million dollars take up??) I could keep it there until your deployment ends...which could be a very, very long time!! Ha! Just a joke to lighten the mood.

Anyway, let me know what’s next. I look forward to hearing from you.
Brit

Dear Brit Withey,

Thanks for your reply to my mail. This venture will not take any time, due to our best modality to perfect this deal.

We choose safest way of perfecting this venture, by using the means of DIPLOMATIC LIFTING & COURIER SERVICES (DLCS) to deliver this fund to a neutral ground Dubai or Paris France. We will register this fund in your name with the courier service. You will be requiring traveling to Paris or Dubai for the claiming of the fund. We will register the fund consignment as machinery working tools. The diplomat will be moving together with out representative to meet with you and also monitor the diplomat for security reasons. Only our representative will know the Content of the box.

This arrangement will be ok; security is tight here in Iraq. The immunity of the diplomat will cover the consignment. They are not being search by customs. I would have to do this through any Bank branch here, but they will need company contract certificate, paying of taxes and other legal documents about you as the owner of the fund. so many questions will be involved. The implication will be much.

Please you are free to ask any question where you are not cleared.

I needed strong assurance from you that my trust and confidence in you is not misplaced , I will also like you to assure me that you will not let me down either now or in the future as I strongly hope to establish a strong long lasting business relationship with you after my retirement immediately me move out of Iraq.

Looking forward to a mutual beneficial partnership. Thanks for your understanding. Waiting for your Reply ASAP.

Regards
Michael

Dear Michael Joseph Leyden,

How exciting! You obviously have this all worked out to a “T”! I’ll admit, it makes me feel a little bit like a character from one of those John Le Carre books. Should I get a derringer? Ha! Kidding, I know there is no need for that as you have certainly made arrangements in a secure and safe manner. Oh, and Paris! I’ve always wanted to go to Paris...well, my wife has always wanted to go to Paris...I actually don’t care. Can I bring my wife? Are you buying us tickets and can they be first class? I’m not sure what Dubai is but is seems similar to “Dubya”, meaning George, so it can’t be all bad, but I’m sure my wife would still rather go to Paris. She’s been bugging me for years. That’s one thing they seem to have right over there in Africa, that long black robe with the facemask. I wish I could tell my wife to wear one! Kidding! Sorta.

What sort of name is Leyden anyhow? That’s not Jewish is it? Seems like it might be. Not that it matters. I’m just wondering. Still, you’re lucky you have that Michael name right up front like I mentioned before. Did you notice that your middle name AND your last name both have 6 letters in them? If you first name WASN’T Michael and was something like, say...George (since we were just talking about him), your name would be essentially 666. Now that I’m sitting here thinking on this if Dubya’s last name were “Bushes” instead of “Bush”, HIS name would be 666. Scary! But I digress. Ha! Remember!?

Okay. To the matter of questions. I have a few before we move forward. What is “modality” and “consignment”? That is first. I don’t have the slightest idea what those words mean. Second: is there any chance that my wife might get shot!?

Yours in Faith (unless you are Jewish, which is fine, like I said, but we’ll just have to agree to disagree)

Brit

(After not hearing back for a few days, I sent this)

Dear Michael,

????

I hope you are okay and have not been harmed by any of those insurgents we are always reading about over here. They do sound like a bad lot (although a heaven with a bunch of virgins does sound like heaven, doesn’t it?) I spent last night drawing up plans for our exchange of funds once I get to Paris. I’m not sure if you have ideas yourself, and if you do, I’d love to hear them, but take a look at what I’ve sketched out (not to scale!) and let me know what you think. It’s simple, fast and easy...not one of the Hollywood Ocean’s 13 sort of thing. Did you see Ocean’s 13? A load of crap in my opinion. Don’t bother.

Anyway, take a look at my plans and let me know if you have any modifications...I’m still tweaking them and they are in no way set in stone.

Myplan